If your child tells you they do not want to attend a holiday gathering, it can feel discouraging, especially when you want the season to feel enjoyable. However, many kids and teens find gatherings overwhelming. Loud environments, unfamiliar faces, expectations to socialize, and unpredictable routines can make these events emotionally difficult.
Here are a few supportive ways to help your child navigate these situations.
Start With Curiosity Instead of Pressure
Instead of encouraging your child with “You’ll be fine” or “It will be fun,” try asking, “Can you tell me what feels hard about going?” Their answers may reveal specific concerns that you can address together.
When kids feel heard, they feel safer.
Create a Plan That Helps Them Feel Prepared
Talk through the gathering before you go. Decide how long you plan to stay, where they can take a break if they feel overwhelmed, and what signal they can use if they need support. Some kids appreciate having a “job” to do at the event, such as helping set the table or playing with younger cousins.
Giving your child choices increases their sense of control.
Respect Their Social Boundaries
Your child does not need to hug relatives, answer every question, or participate in every activity. Let them know that it is perfectly acceptable to stay close to you, take breaks, or sit quietly if that feels more comfortable.
This kind of permission lowers anxiety dramatically.
Know When Flexibility Is the Best Option
There may be times when leaving early or even skipping the event altogether is the healthiest choice for your family. Prioritizing your child’s emotional well-being does not diminish the meaning of the holiday; it strengthens your connection.
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